Splashes of color. Dark voids. It looks like a mess of randomness and we wonder, “God, what are you doing?” We try to make sense of it and can’t. Is it because God doesn’t have a plan….or is it because our simple minds can’t make out the pattern?

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1

God wants excellence, but often we are all too willing to settle for “good” or “fine”.

Because we are so stubborn, so pigheaded, so blinded, so petty and so small, because we lack the ability to know what we truly need and what’s best for us, He often has to mold us through suffering. If we hold on to God through the rough times he can transform us from “good” to “great”, from “eh”, to “excellence”.

Romans 5:3-5

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

As they were leaving Jericho, a huge crowd followed. Suddenly they came upon two blind men sitting alongside the road. When they heard it was Jesus passing, they cried out, “Master, have mercy on us. Mercy Son of David!” The crowd tried to hush them up, but they got all the louder, crying, “Master, have mercy on us! Mercy, Son of David!” Jesus stopped and called over, “What do you want from me?” They said, “Master, we want our eyes opened. We want to see!” Deeply moved, Jesus touched their eyes. They had their sight back that very instant, and joined the procession. Mathew 20 The Message

I’ve been reading through Matthew and I’ve noticed a couple of stories similar to this. People who are crying out to Jesus, or who ask for his help, and he responds like he did in this verse, “What do you want from me?”. At first that response took me back. That doesn’t sound like the Jesus I know. Maybe because I’m trying to make Jesus look like me: “What do YOU want (now)!?” But the more I read over these stories, the more I started to see his question in a different light. Obviously, he already knows what they want, what they need. Reading these stories, I don’t get the sense that Jesus wants (or needs) them to state their request out loud. He’s not asking because he doesn’t know. He’s not asking them because he wants to put them in their place, to hear them beg. He’s asking them if they believe. When I read this I hear him saying, “What do you want from me?” What can I, a poor carpenter, a penniless nobody, do for you? And their response says it all, “Master”, and “Son of David” and “we want to see”. How bold, how sure they are of themselves. How sure they are of him. Do we ask things of people who we know aren’t capable of giving us what we want? Not if we’re smart. We ask of those who ARE capable and are willing. The text says that Jesus was “deeply moved” and healed them. I believe he was deeply moved because of their faith. Because of their belief. They believed he was who he said he was and they believed he had the power to heal them.

Do we have this same belief? When we need something, do we wring our hands and fret and cry? Do we nag or crab or whine or pout? Do we try to fix our situation through our own strength?

Or do we get on our knees and call out to Jesus? “Master, Son of David, have mercy on us. Hear our cries.”

Another sermon by Dave Ramsey on getting your finances in order. He’s a very good speaker and makes talking about finances as enjoyable as it probably can be. Ben and I have been talking about the next step in getting our finances in order. We don’t have any debt other than our cars and home. We save for retirement. But we don’t have a 3-6 month emergency fund. So that’s our next step. Then we want to pay off our vehicles. Then we’ll start working heavily toward paying down our mortgage. Also, I think it’s safe to say that we don’t ever want to borrow money again. Even for a vehicle. I’m hoping we can save and pay cash next time.

Not long ago, I found a credit card bill from the year we were first married (yes, my husband keeps EVERYTHING) and I was shocked and dismayed at how much money we blew on frivolous things! And we made far less money back then! We calculated that once we start making extra payments toward our mortgage we’ll be able to pay it off in 12 years. If we’d started that 12 years ago we’d almost be done by now!! Lesson learned: even if things seem big and impossible, it’s best to dig in and start chipping away at it now. Because, God willing, tomorrow WILL come and you can either look back and be glad you started (whatever) back then instead of looking back and realizing you are still in the same place. Now THAT would be depressing!

A lot of this is very much in line with a book I’ve been reading lately; Your God Is Too Safe by Mark Buchanan. Very good book. Very challenging. He quotes Annie Dillard “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Or how we spend today is how we spend our life! Tomorrow I’ll spend more time with my kids, be a better spouse, go on a diet, spend more time reading the Bible/praying, make more friends, become active in my community, get plugged in to a good church, save more money…….Why not today? Doesn’t today count? Isn’t today a part of your life? We think that we’ll get it together when our present circumstances, our pressing sin, our duties, our obligations, our disappointments, our health problems our fill-in-the-blank-here abates, but maybe we need to press onward and press upward in spite of those things, because, as far as I can tell, life always throws something at us that can be used as an excuse to sit still and stagnate. So sit there and stew or make a plan and get on with it already!